So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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