holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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