I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
