Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
