im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
