this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize