I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
