would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
