Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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