I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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