If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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