hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
