He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
