is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
