We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
