Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
