I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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