Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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