I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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