conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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