I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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