Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
