I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
