i need an iv and a liver transplant
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
