As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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