Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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