There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
