I wanna bring you to show and tell
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
