Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
