If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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