dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
