I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
