I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
