We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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