What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
