I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
