Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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