After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
well you can't waste a boner
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
