i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fuck your aforementioned shoe
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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