I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So squirting runs in the family.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
