mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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