I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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