When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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