do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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