someone threw a dead crab at me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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