I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
