The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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