i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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