There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
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How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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