i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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