Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
