she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
