I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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