yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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