why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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