at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
