His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
