you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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